Is it wrong that I am not jumping off my chair to get the Boy a birthday gift?
Typically I’d have already gone overboard on him – cell phone, iPod, clothes….but this last year, and in the last week, this boy has cost us
greatly – both financially and emotionally. For now, the financial is easier to come to terms with.
Wednesday I arrived home to a sticky mess of iced tea on the floor and coffee table alongside my prized macbook. The macbook flashed its white screen of death, complete with a blinking folder emblazoned with a question mark. As a friend put it, for an underachiever, the Boy did well – it’s nearly impossible to kill a mac.
Shortly after mourning my mac, the Boy admitted that he lost his daddy’s iPod touch. Same day. Wowee. Isn’t that something. Do you think Dad will be mad, he asks. Well. How can I answer that when I’m still in shock over my sweet little wee computer? I guess I don’t really much care about the iPod, at this point, although I should. How about a quick breakdown of events, paired with costs, to show you what we’ve been dealing with. Internets, I know it could be worse. But when you’re in it, no matter the cost, it’s still tough.
July 2009: the Boy steals my rollerblades.
Cost: $ 210
August 2009: this newest bike, special edition & fancy from a friend of ours, retailing at about a grand, disappears. I later learn it was sold on ebay.
Cost: $ 300
August 2009: miscellaneous items – headphones, perfume (this masks the smell of weed, apparently), money, lighters, liquor (leftover from the wedding – valued at approx $ 400).
Cost: $ 900 (approximate)
December 2009: he plugs the toilet, and instead of plunging, reflushes, flooding the bathroom. His reasoning ‘the plunger wasn’t next to the toilet. I figured it was just was easier to keep flushing.’ This causes a flood, ruining carpet, baseboards, flooring, and as the water poured into the venting & behind the baseboards, it went into the electrical – ruining the smoke alarm circuits (3), two light fixtures, and ceiling.
Cost $ 1000 (approximate)
January 2010: the motor on the fridge is inconsistent. To remedy this, the Boy bashes his fist through the timing mechanism located on the ‘roof’ of the fridge. This causes the motor, cogs, and bits and parts to become dislodged from their compartment, and then lodged into the bottom of the freezer. This wrecks the fridge entirely. Home Depot keeps pushing back delivery of our new fridge, and it takes eight weeks to arrive. Let’s add in the cost of daily groceries, just for giggles.
Cost: $ 1250 (fridge)
Cost: $ 1000 (grocery approximation)
March 2010: as outlined in the opening paragraph. Side note: we haven’t backed up in awhile. Years. Our fault, admittedly.
Cost: $ 1200 (macbook)
Cost: $ 750 (adobe creative suite for mac)
Cost: $ 6000+ (approximation music costs)
Cost: $ 280 (iPod touch)
Truth be told, I’m not really very good at math. And if I tally these numbers up, I just may fall right off my axis. Better to just get it out of my head and onto this page for the world to see.
So, when his daddy asked me today what we should get the Boy for his birthday, I was stunned into silence (which is uncommon). What do you think, Internets? What would you do? I’d like to buy him some rehab. After all, it’s only twelve grand.